


thief at 3 am

by bernietaupin



Series: london disasters (kingsman/bodyguard crossovers) [2]
Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018), Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M, but it's still lovey u kno??, it's just david being an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 16:55:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bernietaupin/pseuds/bernietaupin
Summary: Eggsy bought sweets for himself and David has a sweet tooth. This is a bad combination.





	thief at 3 am

**Author's Note:**

> i literally just wrote this bc i thought it would be funny and i wanted more eggvid  
> perhaps i will write serious fanfiction someday  
> also can u tell i did not try with this title bc its a crack fic anyway kjsdhfkhds

_ “Don’t you fucking touch my sweets, David.” _

Eggsy’s words from earlier in the day echoed in David’s mind as he slowly made his way through their shared kitchen in the middle of the night. The digital microwave clock flashed  _ 3:08 _ in neon green, the only source of electric light David could use to navigate if he didn’t wanna wake Eggsy up. David was great at sneaking around, but Eggsy was an incredibly light sleeper, which made sense for him as a Kingsman agent. Regardless, David cursed Eggsy’s skills and great training at this moment.

He was depending on muscle memory and the little moonlight he could get in order to find what he was looking for: the cupboard where Eggsy had put a box of sweets that he bought on his way home from work that day as a treat for himself. However, David kind of had a huge sweet tooth, so Eggsy made sure to warn him that there would be consequences if he ate them. But fuck that, that wasn’t going to stop him.

David reached the cupboard and paused in front of it, considering being a good boyfriend and just going back to bed.  _ “I’m sorry, love,”  _ he thought, deciding to disobey the rational voice in his brain. He reached up, opening the cupboard door to reveal the fancy, unopened box of sweets in all its glory. Oh man, morning David was really going to regret this, but 3 am David was too tired and hungry to give a shit.

*****

David awoke in the morning to a loud “What the FUCK, David!?” shouted by Eggsy, who had just gotten up to make coffee. David had fallen asleep at the kitchen table surrounded by candy wrappers.

“Oh shit, Eggsy, I-” David sputtered.

“No,” Eggsy interrupted, “Don’t even START. I told you yesterday not to eat my sweets, bruv, and you went and ate  _ all of them  _ while I was sleeping.” Eggsy was fuming by this point, and David, still in a sleepy haze, was actually a little scared of him. Eggsy stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall, muttering to himself. David sat in silence for a few moments before Eggsy came back, a little more calm.

“Listen, babe, I’m really sorry for blowing up on you like that. It’s just candy after all,” he said, giving David a reassuring smile. David stood up and Eggsy pulled him into a hug.

“I’ll be honest, Eggsy, I really thought you were gonna kill me just now,” David said, chuckling still somewhat-nervously.

“It’s all good and dandy, I forgive you,” Eggsy replied, releasing David from the hug and resting his hands gently on David’s shoulders. “You just have to promise to buy me something today, alright?” David smiled.

“Yeah, of course.” He leaned in for a kiss but was pushed away by Eggsy. “Oi, what the fuck was that for?”

“You know I love you dearly, but I ain’t kissing you while you still have morning breath. Go brush your teeth and then we can continue where we left off.” Eggsy pressed a gentle kiss to David’s forehead before letting him leave to freshen up and then got to making coffee for the both of them, thinking lovingly to himself that he wouldn’t trade that dumbass for the world.


End file.
